Monday February 18, 2013
Dear Readers,
I had a phone conversation with my “baby” brother this week. It wasn’t very polite. Lots of shouting and accusatory language. I just wanted to share my insight. I got mocking laughter in return. But he had to have this insight that I received from the Universe as a result of our previous, more polite conversation. He had said he wanted a little appreciation from his daughter for a car he was getting ready for her to drive. Just a little appreciation. I knew there was something wrong with his logic.
Appreciation? from a teenager???!!! Talk about setting yourself up for disappointment.
But “why?” was the question. Why can adults come by appreciation so easily and teens hardly at all?
I didn’t know that I was asking the question. I didn’t know that I wanted to comprehend the mystery.
Guess my brain had other ideas and had been communicating with the Universe on the topic when I wasn’t present, because two days later it bubbled up into my consciousness.
Ah Ha! I got it and called baby bro. I had to tell him what the answer was. He wasn’t in the mood. But that didn’t stop me. I explained as carefully as I could, but like remembering a dream the whole thing soon began to grow dim. As we argued, the brilliance of the insight was waning.
It was Bones losing his ability to put Spock’s brain back in his head. It was so important, but so illusory. It was all about knowing the future. No-one can know the future. Appreciation is about the future. Can I explain it even now?
Appreciation acknowledges that without the thing, life would be less sweet. “Would be” is a projection into the future. It’s so important to know this.
The past is knowable, adults can know kids. We’ve been there already. Have you looked at a child and had that feeling of … ‘from the way this child is acting and talking I completely know what they are thinking and feeling.’ This is because to adults, kids are the past.
But we know that kids never feel the same way about us. To kids, we adults are the future. We are alien. The future is unknowable, kids can’t know adults, or how to “know” like adults. Their future thinking is limited because their pasts are limited.
Kids have not enough ‘past’ to project into the ‘future.’ Kids can’t understand when adults talk about appreciation because to kids that is the future and so is unknowable by them.
Expect from kids what kids can know, which is the present. Expect kids to try to be what little they know about themselves. Expect them to experiment with tools they happen upon. Expect from kids the natural, inborn courage to approach the daily, mostly social, problems they face with untested faith that they will eventually figure things out for themselves. Expect kids to live every day in the present, (something most adults have lost the ability to do. ) But don’t cause disappointment by expecting appreciation from them. It’s not realistic.
yours sincerely,
jackie d
ps: I told you I was a Star Trek fan in my post: (Urantia Book blog)
Star Trek’s creator, Gene Roddenberry, was a UB reader.
My twin sister, Robin, was able to paraphrase in her own words - she understands
This was very good Jackie. I think I understand more of what you’re trying to describe. I think so that is. These inklings, these illuminations, come in such a 3-D format, it’s difficult to put out a description of them in a 2-D like the written word – isn’t it? Speaking is better because you can bounce back and forth with the other person, until you both “get it.” Written is more difficult, though safer in a way. There’s no real shouting – other than “Bold”, “Underline” and “Italics” which are pretty low-key compared to a human’s vocal cords.
robin
Is it like the idea of expectations about a newborn, who has no past whatsoever – other than the womb?. Is it like having expectations of an brand new embryo that has no past what-so-ever? Children are just on the linear path as are us adults. It’s only that we’re farther along then they are and have more to look back on than they do. But we have no experience with what it’s like to be 80 years old. To feel really old in our bodies.
In the rush I find myself on today, I couldn’t find a “about” page. So I will leave this comment here:
Thank you for checking out my blog and be sure I will be checking what you left on my post. I appreciate your words and the fact you’re trying to show me an alternative.
I look forward reading your future posts
- Happy
you’re welcome and thank you happy
lol! I love the bones and spock reference. You are dead on about living in the present. We all should
thank you for the support – my blog was, for me at any rate, more about our (adults over 40) relationship with kids/children/teens/young adults than admonishing about what time period we ought to be living in.
that last sentence was more of an aside than a conclusion.
I agree with your thoughts a hundred percent
thank you andy (my story to you…)
i really liked your poem “a song unheard yet” and the music.
i read so many wonderful poems on these blogs
Thank you and for the reblog
absolutely, and thank you for sharing this poem
i’ve been playing the song over and over
guess i’m in a romantic moood this morning
jackie d
Happy you enjoy it!
it was so many years ago but i lived for that show – those men out in space – i will never forget how earnest Bones was when he had learned about brain transplanting, and then his panic as the comprehension melted away.
“Dammit spock what did you put in my head??” LOL remember that line?
yes, i think i’ll try and view that episode again on the internet.- there is a lot of insight on TV if we look for it. these shows arise out of very creative people who often don’t even know of the brilliance that comes out. i think there is a lot of unawareness going on. i have a friend, an artist, who accidentally takes the most beautiful photographs even though her medium is pastels. she is also a writer and musician.
I wish I had that kind of skill, Had the chance when I was younger but was too stubborn to pursue it further ;(
everyone feels this way regardless of where they are now
Live long and proper. Your bro’ is totally ilogical. Does not compute. In reality you have to show appreciation to the children. If it means buying a car, I will say “Daugther, you know how much I appreciate you, here’s a car. And you know, I would love to go for a ride with you from time to time. I really would appreciate to bond with you. I love you, daughter.” HA!
a fellow Star Trek fan ? live long and prosper to you as well – i wish my brother was a little more aware of how what he says affects his kids. what you say is very good role modeling that almost no parents think is all that important from what i have gleened while listening to people. did your parents say such things to you. thanks for the reply
jackie d
yes.
Wow Jackie!
This makes sooo muchhhh sense! Adults understand from experience what it was like to be young. But kids have ABSOLUTELY no experience with what it’s like to be an adult.
You are sooo wise Jackie. I mean that. I learn sooo much from you.
love to you sis,
robin
thanks robin,
this was, as i described, an insight from the Universe/God/TA etc. i didn’t even know I as asking the question. maybe i’ll edit a line and say this instead.
This was very good Jackie. I think I understand more of what you’re trying to describe. I think so that is. These inklings, these illuminations, come in such a 3-D format, it’s difficult to put out a description of them in a 2-D like the written word – isn’t it? Speaking is better because you can bounce back and forth with the other person, until you both “get it.” Written is more difficult, though safer in a way. There’s no real shouting – other than “Bold”, “Underline” and “Italics” which are pretty low-key compared to a human’s vocal cords.
robin
Is it like the idea of expectations about a newborn, who has no past whatsoever – other than the womb?. Is it like having expectations of an brand new embryo that has no past what-so-ever? Children are just on the linear path as are us adults. It’s only that we’re farther along then they are and have more to look back on than they do. But we have no experience with what it’s like to be 80 years old. To feel really old in our bodies.
Robs,
thanks for helping me explain it – I’m copying this onto the post.