Twenty years (is not long enough)
Our tall handsome man stands outside the casino –
. his job is to welcome the guests as they pull up
. in their shiny new cars.
An ancient pick-up truck slows to a tired stop,
. the old expressionless driver slowly rolls down his window
. for a chat.
“I’m going to see your mother…
. wanna come?”
“Sorry, I can’t today – maybe some other time.”
with a nod from the driver – the well-worn truck rolls away.
“So what was that about? What did your father want?”
. his fellow hostess asks him.
Oh… he’s going to the cemetery to visit
. my mother’s grave.
. She died twenty years ago
. and my father has never moved on.
What this poem means to me:
Around 2003 or 2004 a TV show scene inspired me. I wrote this poem 7 years later. I saw this scene while channel surfing about one and a half years after my husband’s death. The scene had a special meaning for me and I had an epiphany. I felt as though the Universe was communicating a message to me – “This will be you in twenty years if you don’t find a way out of your grief.”
Sound crazy that people on TV were talking directly to me? Sorry if you think that, but I don’t put any limits on how God and the Universe send messages. I was watching a lot of TV in those days, so getting a message through that medium makes sense to me.
Fortunately I felt no doubt that I was being told something important. I wrote this poem in March, 2011 after I’d recovered and was alive again.